Hard-Ons
18th May 2018
Whammy! Bar, Auckland, New Zealand.
Review & Photography by Sarah Kidd.
The long standing battle between Australia and New Zealand has forever been a running joke; sports in particular eliciting the most passionate of comments berating the other. But when it comes to music and specifically the genre of punk – the tongue in cheek hatchets are buried, kiwi fans celebrating once again the return of the Hard-Ons.
Tucked away in the dark embraces of Whammy Bar fans were gearing up for what promised to be a larger-than-life night of music; Tauranga act Threat.Meet.Protocol first up on the four band bill. Soon to be embarking on their ‘Where Did You Put My Marbles?’ tour around the country in June this post-punk three piece are unapologetically in your face, their sardonic humour razor sharp. Formed in 2011 the original two piece soon expanded, adding keyboards to the mix. And what an addition it is; Luke semi-possessed by the music itself, hurls himself between his two keyboards, his hands weapons of mass destruction. Hair flailing, he is like watching a cyclone approach on the horizon. In comparison, vocalist Austin Cunningham prefers to let his lyrics do the talking, his eyes often piercing through the darkness as he manically laughs about the loss of his own head, Luke busily churning out a chilling carnival tune to accompany the wayward tale. Bringing up the back and the mastermind behind the mixing of their latest album, drummer Stefan often provides not only break neck speed stick work but some fantastically punchy backing vocals. Despite having been around for a while now Threat.Meet.Protocol are like an underground secret that you need to know; with a solid following already in the U.K market, make sure you get in on it and check them out at one of their upcoming tour dates.
As the punters continued to flow through the door, on stage Raglan local three piece the Illicit Wah Wahz were ready to impress with some classics and a couple of new tunes to boot. Wearing a CJ Ramone shirt, the long-legged Pic stepped up the microphone, the band kicking their portion of the evening off with ‘Pyramid Scheme’. Unfortunately it was immediately obvious that something was wrong; bass guitarist Barnes stepping off the stage at one point to check his own sound. After some hasty on the fly adjustments, all was good with the world again as the three piece continued on with their set. Besides having an endearing rawness to them, the Illicit Wah Wahz perfectly capture that stoner rock punk sound, their song structures guaranteed to have you at least nodding your head or tapping the foot along as you listen. With new tracks such as ‘Fukushima Sashimi’ – Barnes taking the reins on vocals for this one – and of course classics such as ‘Theme Song’, the boys built their sound around the crowd, drawing them in tighter before Pic would unleash some mind-bending solo’s on them, at one point dropping to his knees and bending over backwards while never missing a note. Always a band that brings the good, the Illicit Wah Wahz will be supporting the Hard-Ons again on Saturday night in their own home town of Raglan which promises to be a show not to be missed.
Having recently made an appearance at Real Groovy for Record Store Day, there was many a grin around the room as Bloodbags took to the stage next, legendary frontman Andrew Tolley, his glasses precariously balanced on the end of his nose bending like a question mark over the top of his mic stand. Beside him the talented Mr Matt Rapley on bass, while behind Sam ‘Shuffles’ Rolston brought up the rear on drums sporting the tshirt of another exceptional local band The Echo Ohs. By the volume of cheers it was obvious that the trio had some fans in the crowd, and with a performance like tonight it was easy to see why. Tearing at his guitar Tolley is magnetic, infusing each track with elements that are derived from genres such as rockabilly, punk, and of course good old guitar noise. Touted amusingly as Auckland’s tallest band, an oddly prestigious title to carry but relevant when each member is over 6”2, they hit the audience tonight with tracks such as ‘Swollen Hands’ and ‘Hot Water Man’ before delivering a blistering cover of the 1978 The Pagans track ‘Street Where Nobody Lives’. Stalwarts of the garage scene since having formed back in 2012 there is an attribute to a Bloodbags live set that just cannot be quantified. It is this quality that saw them fly to the States to be part of Gonerfest not too long ago and one that will continue to see them garner fans for as long as they choose to consider playing. Finishing their set with ‘Glass Eye’ the crowd were both simultaneously overjoyed to realise that the main act was up next and bitterly disappointed that Bloodbags had now ended.
While at first hesitant to get up too close to the front of the stage, the fans were soon moshing and stumbling over the edge as The Hards-Ons began to stir it up as only they know how. Legends of the Aussie punk scene the band originally formed back in 81 before trying out a three year retirement from 94-97, which luckily for the fans was rather short-lived. Producing thirteen albums in thirteen years it is easy to see why these guys are so popular, in fact they are Australia’s most commercially successful independent band – their album sales speaking to their popularity. As the long lean figure of Keish de Silva took front and centre, the rest of the band began to warm up before lead guitarist Blackie (Peter Black) barked out a gruff ‘Can we start now?’ the crowd roaring their approval with a side order of laughter.
Straight into ‘Don’t Wanna See You Cry’ from their 1989 Love is a Battlefield of Wounded Hearts album and it is apparent that de Silva is struggling a little with the vocals, visibly upset with his own sound. The fans however overlooked it throwing themselves into the music regardless, grateful to have the quartet here for a Friday night of beer soaked bliss. While de Silva soon relaxed, his vocal chords warming up and taking the songs to task, the removal of shirts had begun; Blackie the first to get his off before drummer Murray Ruse followed suit, his chest ink glistening under the stage lights. Running through tracks ‘Peel Me Like An Egg’ and ‘Made To Love You’, the Hard-Ons soon began to joke with the crowd, de Silva referring to a bunch down the front – one of whom gifted the stage with a yellow balloon – “party animals” which they lapped up with relish. This is one of the secrets to their long standing success, the comradery that they naturally build with any audience. While Blackie is certainly a legend in his own right, on bass Ray Ahn had a fan club all of his own as he head banged to each track, his short shorts almost a nod to an Aussie Summer just passed.
By now the foursome were in full flight, de Silva periodically breaking out those iconic dance moves of his, every so often flashing a smile while Blackie through a curtain of hair eyed up the audience before throwing his guitar behind his head and blasting out the rest of an eye watering solo like it was nothing more than a walk in the park. Coming up towards the end of the set and de Silva paused to introduce the crowd to a barmaid from Aus who had decided to join the frivolities tonight before Blackie barked once again telling him to “get on with it” as he “needed to take a piss”; once again that in your face no holds barred honesty making the crowd laugh. Finishing on ‘Float’ and the boys bid their farewells, the crowd raucously applauding them while beaming from ear to ear.
Long live the Hard-Ons!
Hard-Ons:
Bloodbags:
Illicit Wah Wahz:
Threat.Meet.Protocol:
Were you there at Whammy! Bar for this energetic punk gig? Or have you seen The Hard-Ons perform live somewhere else before? Tell us about it in the comments below!
Hard-Ons Setlist:
- Don’t Wanna See You Cry
- Bad Bad Temper To Match
- Peel Me Like An Egg
- Made To Love You
- I do, I Do
- Midnight
- Kill Your Mum
- Burning Up On Re-Entry
- Dull
- Authority
- Busted
- Stop Crying
- Roadsweeper
- Do The Bunk
- Float
Bloodbags Setlist:
- Quiv. Violence
- Swollen Hands
- Captain Swing
- Hot Water Man
- Street Where Nobody Lives [The Pagans cover]
- Red Sally
- New Religion
- Elder Statesmen
- Glass Eye
Illicit Wah Wahz
- Pyramid Scheme
- He Said, She Said
- Fukushima Sashimi
- Benz
- Speed of Dark
- Theme Song
- Daredevil
Threat.Meet.Protocol
- Jeffrey Dharma & Greg
- The Garden
- Scratch
- Where Did You Put My Marbles?
- !@%#?
- Blumpkin
- Howie & HDV
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