White Ribbon Day – Shine A Light On Family Violence
Feat. Anika Moa & Daffodils
25th November 2018
Royal New Zealand Yacht Squadron, Auckland, New Zealand.
Words & Photography by Sarah Kidd. Harbour Bridge Image by Steve Bone.
New Zealand has the highest rate of reported violence towards women in the developed world.
A sobering statement, but what does that mean statistically? Try this on for size:
One in three women will experience partner violence at some point in their lives.
One in three.
That ‘one’ could be your sister, your work colleague, your best friend. Or in this case she is the woman writing this article.
Yesterday thanks to White Ribbon, Soroptimist International of Auckland Inc. and Vector Lights a family friendly and free event was held at the Royal New Zealand Yacht Squadron to celebrate the efforts of our communities and to light the Auckland Harbour Bridge for White Ribbon Day. Under the magnificent late afternoon sun of an Auckland afternoon, attendees had the pleasure of being serenaded with an acoustic set by three of the members of up and coming, indie-pop group Daffodils. As the haunting voice of lead vocalist Theo Spike Salmon filled the room with the opening lines of ‘Why Don’t You Hold Me’ he was soon joined by bassist Louis Graham – also on acoustic guitar – and Jade Bryham on backing vocals. Their set which concluded with a solo performance by Salmon of the poignant track ‘Boys’ was met with enthusiastic applause by those in attendance, the importance of these young men and woman not only attending but supporting the White Ribbon cause not lost on anyone.
Followed by the talented, always animated and currently heavily pregnant Anika Moa performing both a mix of old and new, tracks such as ‘Running Through the Fire’, ‘Good in My Head’ and her latest ‘I Don’t Wanna Break Your Heart Anymore’ elicited smiles aplenty, as did her humour. The art of music knows no boundaries when it comes to age, race or gender; song having long been a way of bringing people together. This was delightfully demonstrated when campaign supporter and speaker Richie Hardcore’s young stepson Jack decided to join Anika on stage.
Sadly, the same can be said of male violence against women; it is not an issue that only affects women of certain race or age. It is an issue that can affect all women, from all walks of life and can include violence in the form of physical, sexual, psychological and financial.
So, what is the White Ribbon campaign all about then? How do we as a country, as a city as a community change the turning tide?
The key messages for this year’s White Ribbon campaign are:
Men stand up and prevent violence towards women:
Encouraging men to stand up and speak out and act to prevent violence towards women by taking The Pledge and committing to take one of eight specific actions. Men can make this commitment and learn more at http://whiteribbon.org.nz
Men back up their stand with real actions:
White Ribbon supports men to commit to taking at least one of these eight actions to show their respect:
- Listening and believing women
- Reflecting on and changing their behaviour
- Disrupting other men’s violence towards women
- Treating women as equals
- Choose how to be a man and how will I act
- Talk to a young man about breaking out of the Man Box
- Think about what they watch and the media they use
- Talk with young men about respectful relationships and pornography
As stated by Rob McCann, White Ribbon Manager; “There are many reasons why men should help to end the violence, but the reality is that using violence in your life means everyone loses. White Ribbon promotes Respectful Relationships because it is a protection against violence and because it is good for men. Men are happier and have more meaningful lives when people love them, rather than fear them.”
What are respectful relationships? Well I am glad you asked!
Respectful relationships are based on:
- Equality between men and women. Gender equity in personal relationships, and all social spheres reduces violence against women
- Flexible gender behaviour for all. Having men break out of the Man Box and choosing their own masculine identity prevents their use of violence
- Non-violent communication. Men being emotionally aware and expressive gives them alternatives to aggression
- Enthusiastic consent for all sexual activities. Having willing participation is crucial to preventing sexual violence
Gathered together with all who were present we watched as the Harbour Bridge glowed brilliant white against the darkened sky, the feeling in the room at that moment in time one of both hope and solidarity.
So, get out there, spread the word. Talk to your husband, your brother, your nephew, your male work colleague, your male friends. Encourage them to take the online pledge and open the channels of communication amongst other men.
Together, as equals we can create a better future for our young men and women.
#StandupNZ
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